By Bret Thayer

Eye contact is a central part of how we communicate. It connects us to other people in a unique and personal way. In Western culture, making eye contact is a sign of engagement, self-confidence, and a non-verbal sign that, ‘Yes, I am paying attention to what you are saying.’

But what do we think when we are speaking with someone who does not make eye contact with us? Are they oblivious, indifferent, or lack any interest in what we are saying? While many autistic people experience challenges in maintaining eye contact, it is important to remember that not all do; autism is a spectrum disorder, impacting different people in different ways.

Neurological Factors

There are three main causes for lack of eye contact: neurological, sensory, and emotional. In one 2017 study, scientists believe that the subcortical area of the brain (activated by eye contact and responsible for processing emotions and facial recognition) is oversensitive to direct gaze and emotional expression in autistic individuals Mass General Research Institute. When autistic participants were presented with fearful, happy, and angry expressions, over-activation of this region of the brain occurred. This suggests that “there is an imbalance between the brain’s ‘excitatory’ network, which reacts to stimulation, and its inhibitory network, which calms it down” Mass General Research Institute. This over-activation of neurotransmitters results in overwhelm, an aversion in making eye contact, and social anxiety for being in situations that require eye contact with others.

In another study, researchers at the Yale University School of Medicine found that autistic individuals who tried to maintain eye contact showed less activity in another area of the brain. “The experiment found that the dorsal parietal cortex was less active when a person with autism tried to maintain eye contact with their partner. The more severe the ASD diagnosis, the less their brain lit up” Psychiatrist.com. 

“The (Mass General Research) findings suggest that behavioral therapies that try to force individuals with autism to make eye contact could be counterproductive. A better approach may be to slowly introduce these individuals to eye contact so they can learn strategies for managing the accompanying sensations” Mass General Research Institute. 

Sensory Factors

To a person on the spectrum, maintaining eye contact is just one of many sensory experiences that they are processing in a conversation. The tone of the person they are speaking to, their body language, environmental noises, smells other environmental conditions contribute to a flood of sensory inputs that can overwhelm a person with autism.

The challenge of processing all of these sensory inputs can lead to physical discomfort, anxiety, and meltdowns which can have a profound impact for autistic people in socially intensive environments such as school and work.

“If you’re autistic, it might be difficult to explain to other people how a sound, light or sensation makes you feel. One thing that is important to get across is that this is very real, and it’s probably very different from how they experience the same sensory input.” 

Dr. Claire Jack, Psychology Today

Removing the social norm of maintaining eye contact in a conversation might help the autistic person to focus on other sensory factors and reduce the risk of overstimulation.

Emotional Factors

Conversations are an important part in establishing and maintaining human connections. Reading and interpreting emotional queues of a person that we are talking is a skill that we develop over time. Those on the spectrum may have difficulty interpreting facial expressions and experience frustration in predicting the next emotional response of the person they are talking to.

“Humans recognize different emotions, such as sadness and anger by looking at  facial expressions. Yet little is known about how we come to recognize different emotions based on the visual information of facial expressions. It is also not clear what changes occur in this process that leads to people with autism spectrum disorder struggling to read facial expressions” Neuroscience News.

Another factor which may impact a lack of eye contact may be an indication of boredom, that the topic is not engaging or simply that the conversation is taking a long time to develop. Not visually connecting with a person they are talking to may be a nonverbal signal to move on or a want to do something else.

Finally, eye contact is a form of trust building and can relay a connection between two people. Not engaging in eye contact might be a reflection of past experiences of alienation and social judgement or a defense mechanism due to past experiences.

Solutions

Eye contact is important but not in every single social situation. Autistic children should be able to decompress at home and feel safe to be themselves and not have to experience the same social expectations that cause them stress at school or work.

“Autistic children should not have to feel that they have to mask their autism at home. That should be the place where a person with autism can unwind and be their neurodiverse self. They should be able to relax and be themselves around their parents, which would be the most trusting relationship. It is more important for a child to decompress at home than it is to master eye contact” (Nicole Kubilus).

Find a teacher or educate teachers with not requiring eye contact so that autistic students can have a break in their day.

Building understanding with our loved ones and establishing a safe space at home applies to adults with autism as too. “Our best friends and life partner will not abandon us if we struggle to maintain eye contact. We should be able to feel comfortable with being our autistic selves in our closest relationships and not feel that we have to mask our autism all the time” (Nicole Kubilus).

Eye contact should never be forced. Stay away from therapies or practices that force autistic children to maintain eye contact.

“When considering whether you have made a wise choice in what therapy you are providing your child or not, you want to always remember a few cardinal rules: behavior is communication and/or a means of self-regulation. Communication is more important than speech. Human connection is more important that forced eye contact. Trust is easy to shatter and painfully difficult to rebuild. It is more important for a child to be comfortable and functional than to look normal” Maxfield Sparrow, “ABA” October, 20, 2016.

For those with mild to moderate autism, have an honest conversation with your child about eye contact. “Why do you feel uncomfortable making eye contact? When do you feel comfortable making eye contact?” Let them know when it is okay and not okay to avoid eye contact and why. Allow your child to feel comfortable practicing eye contact, in the mirror, with animals, or with toys, for example. Body-based therapies to relieve stress and tension such as yoga, somatic or craniosacral therapies might help too.

In the end, it is important to make your child comfortable with who they are and explain to them that everyone can struggle to maintain eye contact.

Mass General Research Institute 23 June 2017

Bret Thayer has been a public school teacher for 27 years in Colorado. He is a parent of an autistic child and is the co-host for the Understanding Autism Podcast.

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